We throw down three legged style!

Beer, children's games and capitalism, whats not to love? When you can do all three for a worthy charity (Special Olympics Virginia) I'd say nothing at all. This years Corporate Games were the second that Crystal and I have attended and this year Crystal was an official participant, as opposed to last year when she was a substitute in jeans.

We were both signed up for the obstacle challenge and being the pro adult sized tricycle ridding vet that I am (I rode the tricycle last year) I came out of the gate with the holeshot. The rest of the team followed suit and we ended up taking 3rd on the obstacle challenge. Up next was the jump rope jive, two people spin a long rope and eight people jump in unison to their spin. Our struggle with this event would serve to foreshadow our progress for the rest of the day. Markel team one (Crystal and my team) only got 15 jumps in and Markel team two didn't fair much better with a total of 30. Other teams looked like they had been practicing on their lunch breaks for weeks chain ganged at the leg. They put up numbers upwards of 70 and 80 with no breaks from start to finish. We were crushed.

All beats were off once we lost the jump rope jive, we set up one of our assigned tables behind our tent(s) as a permanent beer pong (Beirut if you like) for the day. Slightly inebriated we did better in the 500 meter relay. Then it was lunch time and out came the "bolo", I don't know if that is how it is spelled or even pronounced, but apparently I'm not a sweet tea drinking southerner if I don't play bolo (ladder golf) . I don't like Nascar either so I guess I'm kind of like the David Carradine of the south. After lunch it was on to the pitch, pass, toss event, we faired well enough, but soon realized that the events were getting in the way of beirut and bolo.

The zany relay was an event that Crystal and knew we could dominate. It starts with a dizzy bat spin, then crab walk, a fireman carry, an overalls exchange, a potato sack race and finally a three legged race. We are three legged race prodigies, raised side by side in an old nuclear fallout shelter attached at the leg at all times and in all things. We were breed for this moment, our minds perfectly synced, our legs as one. Last year we practiced for a solid half hour before the event, only to have our overalls team member get locked in a denim knot of death. By the time we were up our three legged skill showcase was a solo affair. Time heals all wounds though, in the year leading up to this years games we participated in a non sanctioned race at a friends cook out and left only a trail of tears.

At the games this weekend we were matched against six other legger teams (I just made that up) in our heat. Our team fresh off multiple rounds of beirut was struggling mightily, by the time we were up. We only had three opponents left to race. One team had a commanding lead on us with more than half the field covered already, the other team was a good 20 yards ahead when we finally got the go from our potato sack jumper. We were off, quickly passing the 20 yard team before the half way mark and well on our way to eclipsing the team that was near finishing when we started. Just after the half way point everything came undone, the sliver of cut up t-shirt that was holding our ankles together could not contain our power any longer and imploded. Crystal lost here balance and tumbled to the ground. I helped her up and it was clear that there was no salvaging the t-shirt. At this point she was giggling like crazy and there was no way to even pretend our legs were attached. We crossed the finish line only to see the judge holding up our ankle tie. We walked off the field at that point taking the DNF. Another sad day in our three legged racing career.

The wacky egg toss and tug o' war were all that that remained for the day. We had 2 minutes and 3 eggs, which ever came first, to toss at various distances with out dropping them. Before the first minute was up we were out of eggs. We faired no better in the tug of war, both teams were out in the first round and Crystal and I bailed early as she had an evening obligation.

We will be back next year, will bring our own ankle tie and all of central Virginia's corporate community will bare witness to our three legged racing prowess!